Toying with the idea of suicide,
roomanticizing the end
when only at the beginning,
jumping in front of a moving train,
Or jumping off the third floor
as the asphalt looks so soft and inviting.
Mooning over a fair and easy future
or no future at all
it’s not something rare.
Falling in love with the idea of disappearing completely
while slipping through the clock’s hands
like grains of sand.
Falling and falling till I find a feeling equal with love.
I press these buttons in my mind
and ideas as such are shot like fireworks
on a summer night sky;
leaving me unable to think,
watching their colors blasting
and painting my mind with their hue.
As I sit and contemplate what it’d be like
if I hadn’t witnessed the eyes of the wolf widen
if I hadn’t witnessed the martyr being beaten down
if I hadn’t witnessed half the monstrosities I have
and was just another bird.
I wish I was a bird
with the memory of a goldfish
released February 19, 2017
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